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Words We Utter That Make Dad Shudder

A wise person once said fatherhood is a condition which men must endure without benefit of anesthesia.

In honor of Father’s Day last week, maybe you will recall some of the words which made your own dad shudder—or perhaps he developed a nervous tic instead.

“Honey, could you watch the kids while I go to a baby shower tonight? Oh, by the way, Junior has the stomach flu, and the baby is teething. I left enough bottles for four hours.”

“Honey, I don’t feel good right now. Could you change little Melvin’s dirty diaper?”

(While eating at a restaurant): “Daddy, gotta go baf-room right now!!!”

“Honey, the engine blew on the minivan today. I had to call a tow truck to come get it and he charged me double because it’s the day after Christmas.”

“Pops, I’m bringing my new boyfriend, Bruno, over to meet you tonight. Please don’t say anything about his eyebrow rings or swastika tattoo.”

“Hello, Dad? Jared and I had a flat tire 20 miles out of town and it’s raining…and he doesn’t have a jack. I know you’re already in bed, but could you come help us?”

“Um, Dad, do you have to report a fender-bender to the police?”

“If I tell you something, will you promise not to get mad?

“Hey Dad, Mom’s mom is coming to spend three weeks with us! But I’m not supposed to tell you yet.”

“Mom says not to tell you I dropped your toothbrush in the toilet yesterday.”

Being a good dad isn’t for wimps. This year tell your dad you’re glad he survived fatherhood long enough to raise you. But be prepared to catch him.

Your turn. What words did your dad shudder to hear you say? You can comment below.


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