Survival Guide for the Snowbound

Anyone who has experienced a blizzard and power outage will tell you they plan to be prepared next time. Once the white stuff melts enough to locate their car or truck, they shovel like mad, slip and slide to the store, and hoard milk, eggs, and bread, and a long list of survival items.

Of course, that happens after they spend half a day digging out the tidal wave of snow at the end of their drive. Sometimes I wonder if the heroic snowplow operators get a macabre humor out of sealing our drives shut.

Years ago, when our daughter’s then-boyfriend drove across country to visit us for the first time, we experienced a power outage.

Experience is a great teacher. Our experience led us to compile this dictionary for the snowbound. These boredom-busters could help you through the frigid hours while you wait for the electric company linemen to work their magic.

· Blue Darter : Little Junior as he dashes back to the house after going to the bathroom in the backyard because “the potty smells yucky.”

· Chocolate Brain Freeze : Fearing all the ice cream in the freezer will go bad, you devour it before it gets gooey.

· Cross-Checking : You identify the person who absentmindedly flushed the toilet and drank the last of the stored water. Then you stand him outside and pelt him with snowballs until he apologizes.

· Feral Hogs : When you become so bored you play This Little Piggy on a family member’s feet.

· Frostbite Frenzy : At first sign of a power outage, clip your toenails in case you are in for the long haul. Better if done before temperature in the house dips to 40 degrees.

· Frozen Chicken Fingers : Having a thumb-wrestling match with the person huddled next to you on the sofa. Most effective if done before extremities become totally numb.

· Furniture Surfing : See who can jump from one piece of living room furniture to the next without touching the frozen floor. We actually did this while our houseguest watched.

· Heater Beater: Build a blanket fort in the living room.

· Phalanges Flambe´: Count the number of times you can pass your finger through a candle flame without burning the hair off your hand. (Kids-this is an adults-only game.)

· Repi-torture : Sing One Hundred Bottles of Coke on the Wall until someone has a nervous breakdown. Then roll him under the blanket fort and calm him by doing your Woody Woodpecker impersonation.

· Sausage Stuffing : What you look like while wearing several layers of clothes.

· Sesame Street Insanity : Talk to one another in Elmo and Cookie Monster voices until someone develops a nervous tic in his or her face.

Tonsil Tantalizer : See who can suck on a Lifesaver® until it’s gone without breaking the hole in the middle.

There you have it. Tape this list to the handle of your snow shovel. If you’re fortunate, you may not get through the whole list before those dedicated linemen have you up and running—er, shoveling.

Your turn. Using the comments box below, tell us about more boredom-busters.