Cousin Rufus Volunteers
Dear Cousin Cletus,
It looks like we finally got us some cold weather. The fahr in mah fahrplace feels mighty good on nights like this.
I wuz down to Lem’s Gen’ral Store last week and heerd people talking ‘bout somethin’ thet’s a little puzzlin’. They said they’s people thet don’t know how to count. I ‘spose they’s talkin’ ‘bout the elections.
Do you ‘member how our cousin Jake got elected as president of the Future Farmers of America back in the good old days? The club members just raised they hands to show who they voted for. I ‘spose they’s too many folks outside the holler to do thet fer such a big election, though.
Last year, we had us a town meetin’ to decide if folks wanted to pave the road goin’ through the holler. Thet time we wrote yes or no on pieces of paper and folks counted the votes one by one. We all wuz there and watched, so it wuz fair an’ square.
I s’pose they’s too many folks to have a town meetin’ fer the whole country, Cletus. So I got a idea how they kin solve thet big problem. You and me’s purty good in math. Why don’t we volunteer to go count them votes? Why, ah count the eggs mah chickens lay ever’ day. Ah count the pints of tomato juice canned ever’ summer. Ah count the cows in the pasture and the newborn kittens hidin’ in the hay mow. You wuz even better ‘n me at math, Cletus. If the numbers got too high fer me to figger, you could step in and finish countin’.
Whut say you pick me up someday soon and we drive to wherever the headquarters is fer votin’ and volunteer to help?
Wahl, thet’s ‘bout all ah know today. Mah old bones tell me there’s a rainstorm comin’ so ah best git outside an’ cover the fahrwood on mah porch.
Y’all come see me soon, Cletus. We’ll go down to Lem’s Gen’ral Store and straighten thangs out—after we git us a orange sodee pop.