Black Friday Restitution


Mr. I. Will Costmore

Square Deal Department Store

1000 City Circle

Maintown, USA 00000


Dear Mr. Costmore:


I am writing to explain the incident that took place at your store the night before your Black Friday sale.


My girlfriend and I started standing in line outside Square Deal Department Store about 4:00 pm on Thanksgiving evening. It was cold and windy. In fact, we had trouble keeping our charcoal grill going. We were just trying to grill some burgers while we waited. We didn’t want to lose our place at the head of the line.


That’s when trouble started. As you probably read in the police report, fire trucks came when someone called 911. We thought it might not have been necessary, if the wind hadn’t picked up just then. We attacked the fire immediately after the grill tipped over on the picnic table we brought along. We were lucky there were sleeping bags in our tent because we used them to beat out the flames as they licked around your door.


You must have really good alarms in your store, Mr. Costmore. The explosion no sooner happened than the fire department arrived. But we thought it was a little extreme for the police to take us to jail.


As for the water damage, might we suggest a special water damage sale? We didn’t really mean to slice the fire department’s hose with my chain saw. I brought it along I case we had to cut up firewood to keep warm overnight.


So you see, Mr. Costmore, all’s well that ends well. We were sorry to mess up your Black Friday sale, but you’ll be happy knowing we kept warm and dry at the police station overnight.


Oh, about that estimate for damages you sent. I think your secretary made a mistake and sent me someone’s phone number instead. There were a lot of digits.


Yours truly,

Mergatroid Unfall





Are you one of the sturdy Black Friday shoppers who brave the stampedes for that special bargain? Tell us about your experiences in the comments below.