Dictionary for the Snowbound


Did you ever find yourself in a power outage due to a winter blizzard? It happened to us once when our daughter’s out-of-state boyfriend came to visit. We experienced high levels of boredom while sitting around, trying to entertain a guy we didn’t know very well.

For those who may live through winter’s last dumping of snow, we invented these dictionary entries. And yes, we tried some of them.

  • Blue Darter: Little Junior as he dashes back to the house after going to the bathroom in the backyard because “the potty smells too yucky.”

  • Chocolate Brain Freeze: Fearing all the ice cream in the freezer will go bad, you devour it before it gets gooey.

Cross-Checking: You identify the person who absentmindedly flushed the toilet and drank the last of the stored water. Then you stand him outside and pelt him with snowballs until he apologizes.

  • Feral Hogs: When you become so bored you play This Little Piggy on a family member’s feet.

  • Frostbite Frenzy: At first sign of power outage, clip your toenails in case you are in for the long haul. Better if done before the temperature in the house dips to 40 degrees.

  • Frozen Chicken Fingers: Having a thumb-wrestling match with the person huddled next to you on the sofa. Most effective if done before extremities become totally numb.

  • Furniture Surfing: See who can jump from one piece of living room furniture to the next without touching the frozen floor.

  • Heater Beater: Build a blanket fort in the living room.

  • Repi-torture: Sing One Hundred Bottles of Coke on the Wall until someone has a nervous breakdown. Then roll him under the blanket fort and calm him by doing your Woody Woodpecker impersonation.

  • Sausage Stuffing: What you look like while wearing several layers of clothes.

  • Sesame Street Insanity: Talk to one another in Elmo and Cookie Monster voices until someone develops a nervous tic in his or her face.

  • Tonsil Tantalizer: Suck on a Lifesaver® until it’s gone without breaking the hole in the middle.

There you have it. Tape this list to the handle of your snow shovel and prepare to be entertained.