Cell Phone Shopping

I found this article, written in 2015. It’s still appropriate for those of us born before the techno revolution.
I met a technological challenge recently. My cellphone got run over by a truck. You don’t want to know how it happened, just know that I had to choose a replacement.
Choices in cellphones can be overwhelming to those who weren’t raised in the techno age. A trip to the phone store might go something like this:
Salesman: “You’ll probably want a smartphone. It does everything a computer does, only better.”
Me: “No thanks. Just give me something I can use to call my friends, my kids, and the garage when my car breaks down.”
Salesman: “How about this one? It calls you to remind you of important appointments. And it can help you make Power Point presentations.”
Me: “How about one I can just make calls on?”
Salesman: “Here’s a good choice. It lets you ask questions of Siri. She’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
Me: “Oh good. Who’s going to win the World Series next year?”
Salesman: “Now you’re going to love this little model. You can lie in bed and it’ll turn on your microwave to heat coffee in the morning.
Me: “But I don’t drink coffee.”
Salesman: “Well, you can’t go wrong with this one. It can open the garage door on your house in Florida.”
Me: “I don’t have a house in Florida. And if I did, why would I want to open the garage? To let out my pet armadillo?”
Salesman: “Look at this one. You just say things and she translates into one of 15 different languages.
Me: “Oh really? Well, I don’t know any Chinese people right now and I don’t have plans to travel overseas. Don’t you have just a plain cellphone that makes calls in case of emergencies?”
Ah, yes. Cellphone shopping can be a challenge. And judging from current trends, bigger is better. But I didn’t fall for the hype and walk out with a phone the size of a breadbox.
Just call me a plain vanilla consumer. Gotta go; my phone’s ringing.
What about you? Any thoughts on technological challenges? Feel free to comment below.