Life has been super busy. Therefore, I beg your patience with this rewrite of one of my newspaper columns from long ago.
“URRR! I can’t stand it! Why can’t people spell anymore?!”
The outburst came from our teenage son after he received one too many text messages from his friends. Not the people who aced English class; the ones who needed remedial help and didn’t know it.
Here are examples, followed by slightly exasperated comments. Can you spot the errors? (I have toned down the sarcastic comments from years ago.)
“I went to the zoo with my kid in toe.” (Which toe? You must have huge feet.)
“After thinking about it, Mom decided to go to.” (To where?? It’s a rare person who knows how to use too in the right place.)
“Your a great friend.” (Don’t you mean you’re? It’s a contraction of you are.)
“There not going to like that.” (Another contraction needed here. I think you mean they’re, the contraction of they are.)
“I defiantly agree.” (Well, you don’t seem like a defiant person. Maybe you meant definitely.)
“I’m going to collage in the fall.” (Please learn to spell college before you get there.)
“I pacifically asked for a discount.” (Maybe you could try atlantically, or you could learn to spell specifically instead.)
“He is supposably thinking of coming along.” (You are supposedly educated?)
“After she presented her idea, we were all gun-hoe about it.” (But we weren’t gung-ho about your spelling.)
“I’m filling out a job application. Mind if I use you as a referencse?” (Oh boy, I can hardly wait for the call!)
“I left my wallet at your house. Can you make sure not to loose it?” (Sure, I’ll keep it in an enclosure so it doesn’t run away.)
“We had a bomb fire and a cookout last night.” (Sounds dangerous. Next time try a bonfire; it’s safer.)
What about you? Please share your favorite spelling or word usage bloopers..