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Cousin Rufus on Gettin' Old

Dear Cousin Cletus,

Gettin’ old ain’t no fun. That’s whut ah decided last week.

It all started when mah grandson, Harley, tole me he wuz gettin’ me hearin’ aids. Ah guess he’s gettin’ tired of repeatin’ hisself ever’ time he talks to me. So he got me some mail order ones.

When ah tried ‘em out, they squealed and squawked and made such a racket ah just put ‘em back in the box. He said they gotta be calibrated, whatever that is. Why cain’t a body just have somethin’ work right outta the box, is what ah want to know. The older you get, the more complicated life gets.

Even the drive-through eatin' places is gettin' complicated. Harley took me out for mah birthday last month and asked me what ah wanted to eat. I tole him a hamburger sounded purty good. Wahl, they come with lots of diff’rent choices. A body cain’t just pull up and order a hamburger no more. They ask if you want one with cheese—or do you want the special. And what size fries. And you cain’t just order a plain ole drink no more. They ask if you want super size.

I’d rather eat at Gert’s Gas ‘n Grub. At least you get to see real people, instead of talkin’ to a box.

Did you ever notice how many other choices you gotta make when you get old? You gotta decide what kind of health care you want. When you go to the store in the big city and try to buy milk, they’s so many different kinds to choose from, it ‘bout makes your head swim. Whatever happened to just plain ol’ milk?

Cletus, do you remember when we wuz kids and had just two sets of clothes? We didn’t have to waste time decidin’ whut to wear when Granddaddy got us up to milk cows in the morning.

‘Member when we used to look at our one set of ever- day clothes hangin’ on the nail, and say, “What shall I wear today—mah new shirt, mah blue shirt, or the one ah wore yesterday?” It made a good joke, but they wuz truth in it. Life was simple and good.

So, Cletus, ah guess ah’l just stay back here in the holler where thangs still is simple. About the only thang ah have to decide is how often to go down to Lem’s Gen’ral Store and git a orange sodee pop.

Your cuz,


What about you? Any thoughts on the choices you have to make as you grow older? Feel free to comment below.


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