Dear Cousin Cletus,
I visited mah grandson last week, the one whut lives outside the holler. Ah learnt them city folks has ‘bout ever’ convenience a body can think of! Mah grandson has gadgets and doodads I ain’t never seen before!
He’s got this little round thang whut looks like a tunafish can and it sits on his counter and he talks to it! No foolin’! It’s called— some woman’s name ah think—maybe Ah-like-suh or somethin’ like thet. When he calls her name she turns on the lights fer him! An’ that ain’t all. When he sez her name agin, she plays whatever music he asks fer. Whut’ll they think of next? Hit makes a body wonder who's on the other end, listenin' to all their conversations.
An’ then there’s this thang called Facebook. Mah grandson looks at it off ‘n on all day long and ‘fore he goes to bed at night. Near as ah kin figure it’s somethin’ whut makes people mad at one ‘nother. And what’s the purpose o’ thet? He sez it heps him keep track of whut all his friends is doing around the world. If ah had to keep track of ever’body’s business thet I ever knowed, it’d wear out mah brain! Sometimes ah wonder ‘bout his.
‘Course you know most of us in the holler got no cell phones. They ain’t no towers near the holler if we DID have ‘em. So ah just sat back and watched whut folks did with ‘em while I wuz visitin. Seems like they don’t know how to carry on a decent conversation no more, Cletus. Ever’body keeps lookin’ at thet little screen in they hand and touchin’ buttons. They knows how to talk to folks across the country but not the ones in the same room with ‘em!
If you wuz to ask me, when people went forward with whut they call progress, they done stumbled backwards. We lost whut we had. So here ah am, back in the holler, glad to be rid of the all the gadgets an’ doodads. Me an’ ole Bozo the hound still enjoy sittin’ on the porch, listenin’ to birds and crickets at night, and walkin’ down to Lem’s Gen’ral Store when we get curious ‘bout whut’s happenin’ to them poor folks runnin’ the hamster wheel in the fast lane.
Y’all come visit sometime, Cletus. Leave yore cell phone at home; we’ll have somethin’ the young folks don’t know nothing about no more—a real conversation!