A Pandemic Florida Vacation
Parts of this post come from a newspaper column I wrote in 2018. It seems appropriate more than ever, since pandemic regulations have changed the way we do things.
What an unusual year to take a vacation. I accompanied my husband to the Sunshine State so he could attend a board meeting in 2018. (I know, going to Florida in the winter is a tough job, but somebody has to do it). He was occupied four hours each afternoon, so in my boredom, I composed this list of things to do. It fits our pandemic situation quite well, don’t you think?
Go to McDonald’s and count the seagulls hopping around, eating fries off the parking lot.
Walk on the waterfront and pick up trashed Styrofoam cups.
Count the minutes it takes you to make a left-hand turn in front of a tourist attraction.
Sing the happy birthday song to one of the dozens of homeless people hanging around street corners.
Offer a banana to the driver of the car next to you at a traffic light.
Time the number of minutes it takes you to get a sunburn while talking to someone outside.
Practice for Army Ranger school by standing still while covered by a cloud of mosquitos (also known as the Florida state bird).
Travel to a state park and have a picnic while keeping an eye on the alligators sunning themselves a mere 30 yards away
Drive in front of someone with a New York license tag and turn without using turn signals. It’s part of their culture.
Pitch pennies into the fountain at the mall and try to retrieve them before security comes along.
While at the same mall, stand in a store entrance and act like a mannequin. (My husband actually did this.)
That should get you started on the road to fun. Please write and tell us how you enjoyed your vacation.