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Cousin Rufus on the Fourth

Image by Angela Yuriko Smith from Pixabay

Sometimes the least esteemed among us have the most common sense. At least it's true for Cousin Rufus .

Dear Cousin Cletus,

I ain’t heerd from you in a long time so I thought I’d write and see whut yer up to.

Things here in th’ holler is about the same. The folks up at Lem’s Gen’ral Store is fixin to shoot off some fireworks for the Fourth of July. I reckon I’ll go watch. I do ev’ry year. And they’s havin’ a parade through town, though the high school band ain’t got but 15 members. Six of ‘em play drums. At least they’ll make a lot o’ noise.

Speakin’ o’ noise, the folks at the Gen’ral Store is talking ‘bout some sort o’ ruckus goin’ on ‘round the country. I ain’t got no TV so I have to rely on newspapers fer the news, and they ain’t too reliable these days. A body don’t know whut to believe and whut they’s makin’ up.

So is it true people are riotin’ in the streets? Cause it ain’t happenin here in the holler. Course, our people keeps pretty busy with the farm work and all, so they ain’t got much time to do anything after dark ‘cept hang around the pool hall on Saturday nights. If them folks that’s riotin’ would just get jobs, I ‘spect they’d tame down after while. “Idle hands is the devil’s workshop,” ol’ Granny used to say; remember that?

Folks is sayin’ the riots is caused by those getting’ offended. Is it true they’s tearin down statues and writin’ graffiti in public places? Too bad their ol’ Daddy didn’t take a switch to their backsides like ours did to us when we got full o’ ourselves. ‘Member thet time we spray painted girls’ names on the side of the school house? Hoo-eee, did we ever get a whoopin’ from yer pa that time! But at least it kept us from goin’ to prison like the Clemons boys over the ridge. Their daddy let ‘em run wild and now they’s payin’ fer it by sending time in the crossbar hotel. I guess yer pa knew what he was doin’ after all.

If them rioters is defacin’ monuments to our military veterans, it’s a good thing most of the WW II vets ain’t around to see it. They risked their lives for us. I just know they’d be heartbroke to see their hardships and sacrifice treated so light an’ all. Whut’s this world comin’ to anyhow?

Well, I didn’t start out to git on a soapbox, so I guess it’s time ta git down now.

Y’all come see me sometime. We’ll go down to Lem’s and git us a bottle o’ orange sodee pop.

Your cuz,


How about you? Any words of wisdom to add to Cousin Rufus? You can comment below.

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