Ask Aunt Tilly

Remember the Dear Abby advice column in the newspaper? It was one of my favorites. This is how a modern-day advice column might look ( under a different name of course) considering the lockdown some of us are experiencing.

Dear Aunt Tilly,

I love fashion. And I miss showing up at work in the latest styles. Now I get excited when it’s time to take out the garbage. What I should wear?

Signed,

Perplexed in Denver

Dear Perplexed,

Don’t be fooled by wearing pajamas. You’ve probably gained ten pounds while being isolated, especially if you have kids. Before making your grand appearance at the curb—in case your neighbors are watching—try backing up to a mirror and taking a good look at yourself from the rear. Wear something dark (black makes you look skinnier). Forget the stiletto heels; they’re good for sprained ankles.

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Dear Aunt Tilly,

How does a person keep five children occupied all day long? We have put together enough puzzles to pave our driveway, played indoor basketball with rolled-up socks, and made cookies till we’re waddling around. Any suggestions? I think I’m losing my mind.

Befuddled in Baltimore

Dear Befuddled,

I feel your pain. The secret is to be smarter than your kids. Try hide-and-seek in the house, with YOU being the one who seeks. Let the children stay in their places a long time before you find them. They just might fall asleep in a closet and give you a break.

Then, build tents under the kitchen table. Grab several old blankets, pillows, and lots of storybooks. Declare story time for half an hour while you take a nap. Set a timer to make sure everyone complies. If you have older children, let them read to the younger ones.

A sure way to make your children disappear after dinner: tell them they’re going to do the dishes.

With a little planning, you can survive this isolation. Keep your chin(s) up.

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Dear Aunt Tilly,

My husband works from home now. I’m not used to having him under foot. How can I cope?

Signed,

Muddled in Minneapolis

Dear Muddled,

You probably haven’t spent this much time together since your honeymoon. With a little planning you can pull through the crisis. Agree to work at different ends of the house for half a day. The first to break the agreement has to clean the house on Saturday.

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So you see, there always will be someone to provide answers to your dilemma. Any questions? Ask Aunt Tilly in the comment box below.