Cousin Rufus's Problems with Progress
Dear Cousin Cletus,
Well, it’s been nigh on a year since I wrote you last. So I thought I’d tell you ‘bout some progress that’s been made here in the holler.
You ever hear of digital clocks? I didn’t till ol’ Clyde got one over at the Gen’ral Store. A digital clock ain’t really a clock like we learnt on. It’s a little screen wif numbers on it, instead of hands that move around a clock face. Now the young’uns thet never learnt to tell time, don’t have to get smarter. They just read the numbers.
They said we're makin' progress.
Last week I had to have mah grandson come and fix the ol’ wringer washer. I cain’t turn them screws no more, ‘cause of arthritis in mah hands. So there I wuz, standing behind him, tellin’ him to turn the screw counter-clockwise—and he didn’t know whut that was! Cause he lernt to tell time on a digital clock!
Mah other grandson wanted to know how to drive mah old truck, so I tried to give him drivin’ lessons. Again, them digital clocks had him stumped. I told the young’un to put his hands at the three o-clock and nine-o'clock positions and he didn't know whut they was.
I get down to the bank once in a while to check on mah account balance. There’s progress goin’ there too. I noticed when I wrote a check fer my fahr wood last month, they took out too much money. So I goes to the teller and says, “M’am, I wrote this check for $40 but y’all took out $46. What’s goin’ on?”
She looks at it and says, “Mr. Rufus, you didn’t close up the ‘0’ when you wrote forty. It looks like forty-six.”
“But hain’t y’all suppose to read the words below that?” I said. “Here ‘tis-- forty dollars, written out.”
“Oh,” she sez. “It must o’ been cashed by our new teller. Younger tellers can’t read cursive writin.”
More progress, Cousin. She tol’ me schools don’t teach cursive writin’ no more. What’s this world comin’ to?”
That’s whut’s goin’ on down here in the holler. We’re makin’ progress, gettin’ more civilized, they say. Somehow I cain’t get too excited ‘bout that.
How about you? Any comments on "progress"?