Shop Till You Drop

To My Readers:

Due to taking time with family the week of Christmas, I am posting a rerun of an article I wrote for a newspaper column in August of 2018. It's appropriate, especially if you haven't finished your Christmas shopping yet.

Note: The pictures are actual photos I took on the day described below.

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They did it again. Never underestimate the power of those amazing Mennonite ladies to stuff, cram and wiggle the things they buy into a vehicle if they really want to.

As you may know, at times I serve as a taxi driver for the horse-and-buggy Mennonite community. Last Friday, six ladies, a baby and I started at 6 a.m. for a day at Jefferson City. While I questioned their sanity at attending yard sales when the weather radar predicted severe thunderstorms, they cheerfully boarded the van. Their optimism paid off, apparently.

A few hours later we had attended three yard sales, and the back of the van—which had the rear two seats removed—was over half full. A baby crib and mattress, furniture, lamps, children’s clothes, storage boxes and assorted bric-a-brac layered the floor about halfway to the windows.

Are we done yet???

Then we went to Walmart and added more stuff. Ah, but we weren’t finished. There were two thrift stores to visit. They added more items—and I mean a lot more. A child’s toy kitchen. A bicycle. A toy barbecue grill. Children’s clothes. Bags full of things.

After surveying their stash—and packing and repacking, thanks to Miriam’s skills-- the ladies were questioning when to go to Aldi’s. They decided to make it their last stop, because they wouldn’t be able to get out of the van after stuffing their groceries on top of everything else (see photo of the side door). And they were pretty accurate.

As amazing as the former feats were, the stop at Aldi’s was the winner.

If I were the CEO of a storage company, I would hire these ladies to design instruction leaflets on maximizing space.

It helps to remember that if we had to pay someone to drive us to town, we would want to stock up on a lot of things, to pay for the trip, right? And, when you buy groceries AND yard sale things AND thrift store belongings, your thriftiness takes up space.

Side View after shopping at Aldi's

If it’s true that one picture is worth a thousand words, then I need write no more.

So, you want to know what it’s like to be a taxi driver for the Mennonite community? They’re wonderful, kind people and I love them…and I hope they’re not listening…it helps to have heavy-duty shocks on your vehicle.

What about you? Have any tales about shopping? Join the conversation below.

Warm Christmas wishes to the readers of Armchair Wit. May the peace which comes from knowing the baby in the manger, be yours in the coming year.