Mr. I. Will Costmore
Square Deal Department Store
1000 City Circle
Dear Mr. Costmore:
I am writing to explain the fracas which took place in your store the night before your Black Friday sale.
My girlfriend and I started standing in line outside Square Deal Department Store about 4:00 pm on Thanksgiving evening. Needless to say, it was cold and windy. In fact, we had trouble keeping our charcoal grill going. We were just trying to grill some turkey burgers while we waited. We didn’t want to lose our place at the head of the line.
That’s when trouble started. As you probably read in the police report, fire trucks came when someone called 911. Actually it might not have been necessary. We attacked the fire immediately after the grill tipped over on the picnic table we brought along. We were lucky there were sleeping bags in our tent, because we used them to beat out the flames as they licked around the door.
You must have really good alarms in your store, Mr. Costmore. The explosion no sooner happened than the fire department arrived. But we thought it was a little extreme for the police to take us to jail.
As for the water damage, might we suggest a special water damage sale? We didn’t really mean to slice the fire department’s hose with my chain saw. I brought it along I case we had to cut up firewood to keep warm overnight.
So you see, Mr. Costmore, all’s well that ends well. We were sorry to mess up your Black Friday sale, but you’ll be happy knowing we kept warm and dry at the police station overnight.
Oh, about that estimate for damages you sent. I think your secretary made a mistake and sent me someone’s phone number instead. There were a lot of digits.