Human Obedience Training in Three Easy Lessons

It all started the day I adopted my humans. I was a small puppy, dozing beside my littermates when a pair of hands picked me up. The next thing I knew I was the proud owner of a man-human who needed me to train him.

First, he had to learn come on command.

He didn’t know that a bark outside the door meant, “Let me in. I’m lonely!” But persistence paid off. Eventually he mastered come on command on the first bark, like the intelligent breed I thought he was.

One day my food bowl was empty. That’s when I realized he was ready for step two.

“Hey, Champ, what’s the matter?” my man-human said. I was standing beside his chair at the dinner table, with front paws on his knee.

“I need some food!” I whined as my human kept munching his sandwich, I started drooling on his leg. Nothing happened.

It was time for the snatch and run approach. I jumped and took a bite from his roast beef sandwich.

“Champ! Get over there and eat your own food!” he shouted.

Clearly this was going to take some patience. I slunk, uh, slinked over to my empty dish and stood there, casting mournful eyes his direction. Next I coughed.

It worked. He filled my bowl and gave me the rest of his sandwich.

Now that my human had learned to reason, we could move on to the simple Fetch.

“Mmmmff!” I barked, looking toward my leash.

My human didn’t get it. Fast wags and hopeful gazes failed to work. Scratching on the wall beside the door did, however. I rewarded my human by allowing him to walk me around the block.

Those are the basics of human obedience training which work on most breeds of people.

One last caution: Never allow humans to get the upper hand. Insist on instant obedience and you will live a long and happy life.

What about you? Any experience in being trained by your pet? Don't forget to comment below.