Human Obedience Training in Three Easy Lessons

September 9, 2019

 

It all started the day I adopted my humans.  I was a small puppy, dozing beside my littermates when a pair of hands picked me up. The next thing I knew I was the proud owner of a man-human who needed me to train him.

 

First, he had to learn come on command. 

 

He didn’t know that a bark outside the door meant, “Let me in. I’m lonely!”  But persistence paid off. Eventually he mastered come on command on the first bark, like the intelligent breed I thought he was.

 

One day my food bowl was empty. That’s when I realized he was ready for step two.

 

“Hey, Champ, what’s the matter?” my man-human said. I was standing beside his chair at the dinner table, with front paws on his knee.

 

“I need some food!” I whined as my human kept munching his sandwich, I started drooling on his leg.  Nothing happened. 

 

It was time for the snatch and run approach.  I jumped and took a bite from his roast beef sandwich.

 

“Champ! Get over there and eat your own food!” he shouted.

 

Clearly this was going to take some patience.  I slunk, uh, slinked over to my empty dish and stood there, casting mournful eyes his direction. Next I coughed.

 

It worked. He filled my bowl and gave me the rest of his sandwich.

 

Now that my human had learned to reason, we could move on to the simple Fetch. 

 

“Mmmmff!” I barked, looking toward my leash.

 

My human didn’t get it. Fast wags and hopeful gazes failed to work.  Scratching on the wall beside the door did, however.  I rewarded my human by allowing him to walk me around the block.

 

Those are the basics of human obedience training which work on most breeds of people.

 

One last caution: Never allow humans to get the upper hand. Insist on instant obedience and you will live a long and happy life.

 

What about you?  Any experience in being trained by your pet?  Don't forget to comment below.

 

 

 

 

 

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