top of page

Black Friday Fracas

Mr. I. Will Costmore

Costmore Department Store

1000 Mall Drive

Maintown, USA 20000

Dear Mr. Costmore:

I am writing to explain the unfortunate incident which took place in your store the night before your Black Friday sale.

My girlfriend and I started standing in line outside Costmore Department Store about 4:00 pm Thanksgiving evening. Needless to say, it was cold. In fact, we had trouble keeping our propane grill going. We were just trying to grill some burgers while we waited and we didn’t want to lose our place at the head of the line.

That’s when the trouble started. As you probably read in the police report, someone called 9-1-1. Actually it wouldn’t have been necessary, as we attacked the fire immediately after the grill tipped over. It’s a good thing we brought sleeping bags too; we used them to beat out the flames as they licked at the door.

And that’s when things got a little crazy: broken glass, smoke everywhere, alarms going off, our dogs yipping and running through the glass…you get the idea.

You must have really good alarms in your store, Mr. Costmore. The explosion no sooner happened than the fire department arrived on the scene. But we thought it was a little overdone for the police to take us to jail.

As for the water damage, might we suggest a special water damage sale? We really didn’t mean to slice the fire department’s hose with my chain saw. I brought it along in case we had to cut up some firewood to keep warm overnight.

So you see, sir, all’s well that ends well. We were sorry to mess up your Black Friday sale, but you’ll be happy to know we kept warm at the jail overnight.

Oh, about the damage estimate you sent me. I think your secretary made a mistake and sent me someone’s phone number instead. There are a lot of digits in that number.

Yours truly, Mergatroid Unfall

How about you? Were you brave enough to attend a Black Friday sale? Tell us about it below.

bottom of page