If Dogs Could Text

September 18, 2018

Did you ever wonder what your dog does all day while you are away? Below is a texting conversation which just might occur if dogs had thumbs.


Fido: I’m bored. When will you be home?


Owner: In a couple hours. Why don’t you go look out the window?


Fido: Because that stupid cat next door is leering at me. He stands on the window ledge outside and makes faces at me. He knows I can’t get outside and he’s rubbing it in.


Owner: That’s too bad. Well, you could get one of my old socks under the bed and chew it up. Get the one with holes in the toe.


Fido: I don’t feel like it. Bring me home a treat—a beef jerky stick or something.


Owner: You don’t need a treat. You’re getting too fat.


Fido: I’M getting too fat?  Look in the mirror, big boy. Why don’t you take me running tonight?


Owner: Because I’ll be too tired when I come home.  I work hard for a living—unlike you.


Fido: Well, you wouldn’t be so tired if you didn’t stay up late talking to your girlfriend on the phone.  Mushy, mushy. Yeck!


Owner: Hey, don’t knock something you don’t know anything about.


Fido: I DO know how to be a lady’s man.  And I’d learn a lot more if you’d be a pal and let me run around the block once in a while. But NOOO, you keep me fenced in the back yard. Some friend YOU are!


Owner: Go chew on your bone. I’ve got work to do.


Fido: So, are you bringing me a treat tonight?


Owner: I told you, you’re getting too fat. You don’t need a treat.


Fido: Okay, but don’t be surprised if your best sneakers happen to be chewed up when you come home.


Owner: You’d better not!


--Ever wonder what YOUR canine pal is thinking?


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